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about
Eleven is the seventh track and second spoken word piece on Monarch. Despite its pretty intense subject matter, it was a hell of a lot of fun to record, not least because I had the opportunity to collaborate with a bunch of super talented people to make it happen! With four guest performers, it's the single most collaborative track I've ever recorded, featuring Ben Fryer on guitar, and Jenny Rudge, Jesse Bulman and Ian Gummow on vocals.
Lyrically, it explores the story of one of the most troubling experiences I've had, one which took place earlier this year while I was driving home for the holidays alone. I spent the whole trip trying to distract myself from these terrible thoughts that kept creeping into my mind and the anxiety they caused, with little success. It's interesting; a year ago, I believed very strongly in God, but was a lot more skeptical about the existence of a devil. In the aftermath of that trip, that skepticism disappeared entirely. It was terrifying.
It took a long time before I felt comfortable talking about that experience with anyone, but when I finally did, and the more I did it, the more at peace I began to feel and the less power it seemed to have over me. Eventually I got to the point where I was able to write this poem, and now I look forward to sharing with you all that full journey out of fear and into hope and, ultimately, into victory.
lyrics
I spent eleven hours traveling down that lonesome highway
With no one for company save the open road
and the devil on my shoulder
Well, by nightfall he was starting to seem a little larger than life
And so
as if to drown out the lies he kept whispering into my ear
I screamed a desperate prayer into the the darkness
and kept my eyes locked on the horizon
Straining to see the first light appear
Well the minutes feel like hours
when you've got a serpent riding shotgun
And he was a crafty one
Flicking that forked tongue
between fangs dripping with malice
Hissing, spitting venom with a fury
I had never seen before
And I stood my ground as best I could
But for all that I could do
He wouldn't run from my resistance
and it shook me to the core
And every toxic whisper
became harder to ignore
than the last
And by the turn of midnight we were past the point of no return
but home was still a long way off
And I wasn't sure if I could make it through
All I knew is I’d do anything to escape,
to be free of this nightmare
to be anywhere but here
I could feel my passenger wrestling me for control of the wheel
and I couldn't tell if my grip was slipping
or if I was content just to go with him
To put an end to this madness
To stray from the path and be destroyed
And yet, in doing so, to be remembered for what I could have been
Instead of the monster I fear I am
I can make it look like an accident
Hold on
I know it seems dark right now but I swear there's hope just beyond that horizon
And any moment now you'll see its faint glimmer start to appear
And it might not seem like much, but believe me, it'll make all the difference
And it'll keep getting brighter and brighter, I promise you, the closer you get
I know you can't see it right now
I know you can't see it but just trust me
You've got to hold on and stay the course
Don't listen to the lies
Don't veer to the left or to the right
You know who you are
You know where you’re going
And I know you can make it through
Because I'll be right here with you
Just hold on
Hold on
And slowly that promised dawn spread across the sky
Painting bright hope across a canvas of despair
And in the new day’s light the terrors of that night began to fade into the shadow of a memory
I spent eleven hours traveling down that lonesome highway
But in the end I made it home
So what say you, my accuser
There's a line in the sand
It says “your words mean nothing here”
Oh, what now, my deceiver
For all your lies, I still stand
And truth has freed me from my fear
And one day soon, you will see
From within that trampled skull
The victory of the oppressed
But as for you
You will taste our hell
credits
from Monarch,
released December 19, 2016
Ben Fryer - Guitars
Jenny Rudge - Vocals
Jesse Bulman - Vocals
Ian Gummow - Vocals
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