Paralysed

from Monarch by Joel Tann

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about

Paralysed is one of the bleakest songs I think I've ever written. It grapples with the feeling of being trapped by fear, of being in a state of mind where the mountain of problems in your life feels so overwhelming that you don't even know where to begin, so much so that hiding from them seems like the best option for now, and honestly, ending it all is looking like a pretty good backup plan.

It's not a good place to be, and it wasn't a pleasant subject to write a song about, and so I guess that raises the question: why write about it at all? And the answer to that is twofold. First of all, it was cathartic as hell. To release all of that stress and anxiety onto paper - this was one of those songs where the lyrics just flowed out onto the page, almost like the song was writing itself - was an incredible relief.

And secondly, I'm writing about an experience I know a lot of people will be able to relate to; a place a lot of people have been in, or are in. And sometimes when you're in a dark place like that, the most amazing thing in the world is to hear someone else expressing the same thing you're feeling, reminding you you aren't alone. I know there have been many times in my life when that's been the thing that's kept me from giving up.

You'll find a lot of clear messages of hope and encouragement on this album, but you won't find them explicitly voiced in this song. What you will find is a desperate plea for help from someone who's hanging on the edge, but who's not yet ready to let go. So if you're hanging from that same ledge, then let's keep hanging on, and let's cry out together.

And maybe our mingled cries will fall on the ears of one who promises to make the paralysed whole.

lyrics

I lay on the floor
Staring up at the ceiling
I don't care what time it is
Or where I should be
I've been trying to figure out
Where I went wrong
See I started so well
But I got lost along
the way...

And now
I'm paralyzed
This fear is gripping me
I can barely breathe
Someone rescue me

I've been anxious before
But never like this
I’m losing control
I need someone to listen
Oh God, what have you done
With the peace in my heart
I made all of these plans
Now they’re falling apart

And now
I'm paralyzed
This fear is gripping me
I can barely breathe
Someone rescue me

I can't do this on my own
Please don't let me suffer alone
I need help…

(Give me hope
Give me strength
Give me courage to face
Another day like this
Oh God
I'm a mess
And I just can't see past
The mistakes I keep making
Again
And again
So caught up in my fear
And my failure and doubting
Your grace
Is enough
To erase what I've done and
To call me your son)

I need help
I'm paralyzed
This fear is gripping me
I can barely breathe
Someone rescue me
I can't do this on my own
And I'm not ready to come home

credits

from Monarch, released December 19, 2016

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Joel Tann image

Joel Tann Townsville, Australia

Singer-songwriter, poet and musician from North Qld. In it for the love of it. I'll quit when I'm dead.

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